5 Ways to get in TOUCH with your TRUE SELF

Dr. Dedra Muhammad
3 min readMay 21, 2020
Author Dedra Lori Muhammad

Who are you? Do you know? We tend to define ourselves by title, educational degrees, occupation, marital status or hobbies — that is your outer person. Those items are for the public and thus are mere conversation starters. Whenever I’m at a function or dinner, people always want to know where I work, my background job and experiences, level of education, etc. Next, they wonder about political or religious affiliations. Most importantly, they want information on our personal finances — stocks, investments, insurance and the prestige of our parents. This is how success or failure is judged in our limited views.

People ask, “How are you?” The answer most often given is….

You guessed it. We typically say we’re fine because it’s the norm. There are other reasons for this untruthful answer:

We think (or realize) the person asking is only being polite. It’s amusing in an elevator going down fast when someone asks the question already with a smile on their face, expecting that you’ll give them the answer THEY want to hear. Saying, “I’m fine” indeed is the norm. Usually, we give this answer without a second thought even when we know our world is completely upside down at the moment. We give this answer on our way to funerals, on our way to a divorce hearing or when we are deathly ill.

The bottom line is it matters more how you answer this question to yourself. How are you? Now, pause a moment. There are two yous: There’s the inner you and the outer you. The inner you is not viewed by man. Therefore, the outer you is a facade — -a fake — a shell of who you really are or could be. The outer you is programmed to say “I’m fine” even during your darkest hour.

I’m going to give you five simple ways to connect to the true you. Once you do these things, the journey to find yourself can begin.

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross “Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” — Denis Waitley

Activity

Quotes for the Day: “Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross”Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” — Denis Waitley

  1. Sit in a chair in a silent room or with soft music. Close your eyes and relax. Feel every inch of yourself, starting with your toes. If there is any tension whatsoever, release it before moving up through your calves. Think about healing yourself physically in every area of your body. Relax. Take deep breaths from time to time during this process.
  2. Once you have cleared the tension all the way past your neck and up to your head, step outside of yourself, leaving the outer you in the chair. Have the inner you — -the real you to step behind the chair and look at the outer you. What do you see? How does that person feel? Take a moment to examine fears, struggles, lack of reaching goals, or whatever is there.
  3. Talk to the outer you: Say what you see — say what you want the outer you to work on — you may place your hand on the outer you’s shoulder and comfort it.
  4. Ask the outer you to tell you the fears, frustrations…and even the good. Ask, “How are you?”
  5. Have the outer you vanish, and you take the chair, bringing with you the courage of your true self. Start the process from one to five start again.

Quotes for the Day: “Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross”Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” — Denis Waitley

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Dr. Dedra Muhammad
Dr. Dedra Muhammad

Written by Dr. Dedra Muhammad

Professional Counselor, author, college and career coach, human services provider

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