A High School Counselor’s Guide to Parent-Teen Relationships: Six (6) Communication Points to Take to Heart:
Greetings, parents! As a high school counselor, I’ve had my fair share of conversations with students who claim their parents don’t listen to them. Now, I’m not here to judge or point fingers, but let’s dive into the hilarious world of teenage communication. Trust me, it’s a wild ride! So buckle up and get ready to laugh, listen, and connect with your teenager like never before.
This is an excerpt of my book called “High School to Postsecondary Planning -Student-Parent Survival Guide”
Six (6) Communication Points to Take to Heart:
- The Vanishing Chatterbox: Remember when your little one couldn’t stop talking? They babbled non-stop about anything and everything. Fast forward to the teenage years, and suddenly, it’s like they’ve taken a vow of silence. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Is it just a natural part of growing up? Well, not entirely. It’s more about how we, as parents, adapt our communication style over the years.
- The Curious Case of Parental Interest: Picture this: You’re tired and ready to unwind and your teenager goes straight to her room after school. You remind her to do her homework and chores. Instead of engaging in conversation, you find yourself waiting to give an instruction, a critique, or you are too plum tired to do either. Sound familiar? Well, here’s a revelation: Parents, we need to show interest and engage with our children from an early age. It’s like keeping the inquisitive flame alive, making them comfortable sharing their thoughts.
- Shame, Secrets, and Missed Conversations: Ever wonder why your teenager starts keeping secrets or acts all mysterious? It’s not because they’ve discovered some ancient teenage code of silence. Nope. It’s because we, as parents, stop asking them about their lives. When we fail to have those meaningful conversations, they miss out on the chance to talk about things that matter. They start feeling a little shameful about keeping their experiences to themselves, and that’s when the real fun begins. It is possible to pick up these conversations when they are teenagers, but it is best to make in a norm from an early age.
- Time to Press the Reset Button: Don’t worry, folks. It’s not too late to turn things around. If you’re thinking, “Where did all those years go without talking to my child?” fear not. We’ve got solutions! Let’s start by meeting them where they are now, in the present. Ask about their day, listen attentively, and resist the urge to butt in with your own stories. Remember, they’re testing your interest, so show them you genuinely care.
- Games, Laughter, and Connection: Who said parenting couldn’t be fun? Playing games like Scrabble or going on long drives can work wonders. Turn off the music and engage in activities that require laughter and collaboration. Trust me, you’ll soon see the tension dissipate, and your teenager will feel more comfortable opening up. And hey, don’t forget to share your own stories and experiences too. It’s all about creating a level playing field.
- The Art of Non-Judgment: Now, I know it’s hard, but resist the urge to judge. Accept your child for who they are, quirks and all. You don’t have to be their best friend, but being open-minded and non-judgmental goes a long way. If they feel you trust them and won’t jump to conclusions, they’ll be more inclined to share their thoughts, fears, and dreams with you.
Conclusion: Parents, it’s time to reclaim your role as the ultimate confidants in your teenagers’ lives. Laugh, listen, and connect with them on a whole new level. Remember, you have the power to shape their future, but it starts with being an attentive listener. So, let’s break the silence, embrace the awkwardness, and build stronger relationships with our incredible teenagers.
Dr. Muhammad has been a public schools educator and college counselor for over two decades in one of the largest schools in Alabama. Each year, she helps a diverse group of seniors from rural, low-income and urban areas raise over 20 million dollars in scholarships; and has been immersed among the behaviors of more than 250,000 students over the decades. She is steeped with the knowledge of trends in education, system barriers, and struggles teenagers endure. Her book is on pre-sale now!
High School to Postsecondary Planning -Student-Parent Survival Guide
